The Gift of Undivided Attention
It’s undeniable that in today's day and age, receiving undivided attention is scarce.
In the professional world, whether you are in a meeting or workshop, you often see participants multitasking while being ‘present’. Whether they are answering emails and WhatsApp messages or simply looking at something else while listening, the fact is that their attention is not 100% focused on the task at hand. Let’s be honest, how many online presentations does one attend where they switch the camera off in order to do something else on the side? How many catch-ups do we have while running from one commitment to the next? How much of the exchange do we really remember?
Even in our personal capacity, we tend to do many things at once to optimize our time. Whether we are calling friends and family while commuting, shopping, and cooking. We respond to WhatsApp messages while watching TV. Perhaps we are even speaking to our partners while exploring virtual worlds on our phones simultaneously. While we ‘think’ that we are making the most of the time that we have, we tend to do this at the cost of the quality of attention we give to others and ourselves. As a result, many of us do not feel heard, understood, or valued. With us not receiving full attention from those around us or ourselves, how can we?!
I like to believe that this is one of the most valuable aspects of coaching: the undivided attention given and received. Not only by the coach but also by the coachee. The dedicated energy, time, and focus. It’s powerful. It achieves results. It makes an impact.
As a coach, I create space and time to provide undivided attention and a deep level of listening to my clients. This is essential, not only for them to feel truly heard and understood, but also for me to fully understand where they are coming from. Even when they cannot find the exact right words to explain, sometimes what is not being said can be heard. Ever had someone sum up what you have been trying to say but couldn’t find the way to say it? It's powerful.
As a coachee, gifting yourself time in which your undivided attention is focused on your growth and fulfilment will leave you feeling empowered. How often do you feel like something is not right and yet you feel like you simply don’t have the time and energy to identify what it is and what to do about it? And so you carry on, not fully dealing with it. Almost like going for a walk with a stone in your shoe. It’s uncomfortable, but you simply accept it as you still get to your destination. Hey, you didn’t enjoy it, but you made it happen. Right?!
Shifting your attention to yourself to listen and make sense of what's going on inside can save you months if not years of frustration or unfulfillment. Both in a personal and professional capacity, whether you would like to feel heard or would like to fully understand, the solution often is giving it your full attention. Undivided.
Written by Naomi Wernecke, Personal and Professional Development Coach
Photo credit: Pascal Meier on Unsplash
