The Choice: Victim Mindset or Victor Mindset
Far too often many of us are fully unaware of our personal power or we are far too quick to give it away to others, relinquishing control, and responsibility for the reality we live in. In this blog post I would like to encourage you to take back your personal power by consciously choosing to step out of “Victim Mindset” and into the “Victor Mindset.”
How to identify that you are stuck in the “Victim Mindset”
The constant feeling that the world is out to get you. Nothing can ever go right for you and if things around you were different (environment, people, circumstances, resources) you would not have all these challenges in your life. Everything feels so unfair.
You are always dealt the same losing hand. No matter how hard you try, you keep ending up in relationships in which the other party does not treat you right or you keep finding yourself in jobs where you just don’t feel valued.
Overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and negativity, you cannot see a way out of this situation you are in. Nothing feels within your control and if only things were different, you would be happy.
Trust me, I have been there. I have found myself in frustrating situations where I could not imagine how life could be completely different. But I guarantee, it can. Or shall I say, you can?
Although we cannot control what is happening around us, we can take control of what is happening within us.
How to step into the “Victor Mindset”:
Work on your self-awareness. Set some time aside to clearly define your values, goals, dreams. Journaling can be a great way to reflect and get to know yourself beyond the voice in your head.
Build your confidence and self-esteem so that even if external factors try to chip away at you, you can be resilient and strong within yourself. Self-care, setting boundaries and avoiding comparing yourself to others are just some ways you can do this.
Communication, as with many other matters, is key. Are you communicating your needs? Are you saying “no” when your boundaries are being overstepped? Are you asking for the promotion you really would like? Are you asking for feedback when things don’t work out? By communicating effectively, you can turn many challenging situations into learning opportunities. You will not only grow but you will also obtain the information you need to decide what steps to take next.
Take responsibility for your choices and actions. If something doesn’t work out, reflect on what you could have done differently. This way you will change your perspective from “what happened to me” to “what did I make happen” ultimately taking your power back.
The choice is yours
Know that you always have a choice. If your current circumstances are no longer creating the life you hope to live, make different choices.
One of my favorite quotes sums it up: 🌳“If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.” - Jim Rohn
Note: If you have recently suffered trauma, abuse (physical or emotional) or have been a victim of crime for example, please take your power back by asking for help from a professional and your loved ones.
Written by Naomi Wernecke, Personal and Professional Development Coach
Blog originally published by The Coaching Group of Switzerland.
Photo credit: Unsplash
