The liberating and constructive power of «I can»
I don’t choose the events that happen to me, but I can influence the response I give to them.
Ah, the constraint! Our environment brings us its share of constraints. These are new elements that we do not control. On the other hand, we do have control over how we react. Let’s take an example: You had planned to go to a professional meeting by car but this morning your car does not want to start…
Schematically, 2 solutions are available to you: The first one can be summarized as « I Must ». « I should have paid attention to the noise I have heard in the last few days », «I have to get to this appointment without being late » …. In short, the weight of guilt linked to responsibility is heavy, and the stress rises. We take away our freedom of choice by putting ourselves in a posture of suffering, by remaining stuck to an initial scenario that is no longer. And we find it hard to get out of our problem.
In summary, according to our reactions:
Either it helps us to find a new balance by integrating this new constraint (resilience)
Or it prevents us from moving forward (limiting strategies)
These are called coping strategies.
Strategies that are important for oneself but also for others and have an impact on one’s ability to adapt, the positive apprehension of change, creativity, stress management, and the quality of one’s relationships with others.
Let’s dare to regain our freedom thanks to the « I can ».
When we think « MUST » we limit ourselves and lock ourselves in without realizing it. When we integrate « POWER » into our way of thinking, we open the door to possibilities. We offer ourselves freedom in our choices. Because we are each in the best position to find the best solution for us, no matter what.
And you, what coping strategies do you put in place in the face of adversity?
Written by Karine Fabiani-Lugez, Personal and Professional Transitions Coach
Photo credit: Unsplash
