Shifting from Blame Frame to Outcome Frame
Have you experienced the following situation?
You were relying on someone to do something for you. For whatever reason, they didn’t do it. As a result, things are not proceeding the way you planned and you’re getting frustrated. Here is what might be going through your head: ‘Why didn’t they do it? It’s not that hard. I really don’t understand it. I gave them enough time and my instructions were clear. And now this is causing all these other problems. This is so frustrating!
If you can relate to this, then you have experienced what it means to be trapped in the Blame Frame.
The Blame Frame is a state of mind where your focus is on what’s wrong. It is problem-oriented and usually leaves you feeling helpless and restricted. To experience what it feels like to be in the blame frame, think of a current or recent situation that is making you unhappy.
Now ask yourself the following questions:
What is wrong?
Why do I have this problem?
Whose fault is it that I have this problem?
What does this problem stop me from doing?
What will happen if this problem continues?
Take a moment to think and ask yourself how you felt while answering these questions.
The antidote to the Blame Frame is the Outcome Frame. The Outcome Frame is solution-oriented. The focus is on possibilities and it leads you to feeling capable and able to work towards what you want.
To experience this state of mind, try answering the following questions:
1. What do I want?
2. How would I be able to get it?
3. When and where do I want it?
4. How will I know that I have it?
5. What resources do I have to help me get this?
6. What am I going to start doing right now to get what I want?
Did you feel a difference in your emotional response when answering the second set of questions?
Most people feel discouraged after the Blame Frame questions because they focus on what is wrong, which only makes them re-experience what is upsetting. It leaves them feeling helpless and with no choice. The Outcome Frame focuses on the future. It helps us identify what we want and how we can get it. This puts us in charge of the problem and provides us with options and strategies for resolving it.
Next time you find yourself caught up in WHY a certain problem exists, shift your mindset and instead ask yourself WHAT it is you want and HOW you can achieve it.
Written by Dominic Junghänel, Career & Leadership Coach
Photo credit: Unsplash
